a little progress:

very minor progress today, but progress nonetheless. i finished the bumper and most of the bedskirt. as soon as i put on the bumper i realized how bad of an idea vertical stripes were on a bumper. when they’re next to the bars of the crib you can really see how lousy of a job i did with keeping everything straight – the lines of the fabric go up at an angle! oh well, that’s just another example of why my blog is titled “imperfect”! the bedskirt went really fast. i just cut a piece of muslin (inexpensive fabric) to fit over the springs part of the crib. then i sewed dyed burlap (i think i got it for $2-3 a yard) to that on all four sides. i haven’t hemmed the bottom yet because i actually don’t plan to. i’m just going to cut it off where it hits the floor, then everytime i lower the baby’s crib mattress i can just re-cut the hem so it sits at floor level. ingenious, i know! ok, actually its pure laziness, but it worked in my favor this time!
the green striped fabric is my favorite of all the fabrics i got, and i used all of it on the bumper, so i’m hoping to sneak in a quick trip to the cotton ball in morrow bay tomorrow while the girls are napping/ resting. of course it had to be the most expensive of all the fabrics i chose, but i only will need a little for the blanket. i’m still unsure of what to do for the stinkin’ blanket!!! i have a couple ideas, but am so afraid to commit to one! very bazaar.
speaking of bazaar, i was holding a brand new baby this past week and totally loved it. however, i didn’t feel the excitement of, “oh, i’m going to have one of these soon!” that i totally expected that i would. i think i’m still a bit freaked out about having another baby, on some level. and i’m still not anticipating and thinking about the baby as much as i am thinking about the change that will come with him. i really want him to be welcomed into the world and not just brought into it. its really important to me, but i still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that he is coming. so weird. i still trip out whenever i walk by a mirror and see my huge belly. although being pregnant has rarely slipped my mind, especially at this stage when it affects everything i do, i don’t think about the baby all that much, mostly just the pregnancy. am i making sense? i’m somehow disconnecting the baby from the pregnancy. not healthy, i’m sure. here’s the excuses i fall back on: i’m so preoccupied with my girls, that my mind isn’t focussed on another baby yet, and sean’s so busy with work that i don’t how we’ll do this with the hours he has. blah, blah, blah….i know, there are a lot bigger problems in the world, and i’m complaining about what are really the blessings in my life! maybe in my next post i’ll have a changed attitude/heart….


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    You know that the moment you see him, you are gonna be smitten! he is going to steal your heart, take your breath away, be everything you never knew you always wanted!!
    Sometimes there just isn’t time to soak up all that is going on. We moms have to stick together in giving each other grace and mercy there. i am so hard on myself.
    I will pray that you will have a few of these sweet moments with your little guy before he comes… in the sewing as you anticipate his arrival, his hands, possibility of ugly jones toes :-), new baby smell. maybe in morrow bay tomorrow, while your alone, grab him a toy or something to be set aside for him from mommy, write him a letter and tuck it away.
    Life is busy and demanding. he’ll be demanding soon enough, enjoy that he is not for a little while longer. And that for a little while longer he is all yours as God knits him together in your womb (I now have to share Noah and send him to camp for a week-aahhhh!! I loved when he was only mine).

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    Jacquelyn says:

    It sounds like you are tired. Take a nap, take a break and everything will be o.k. (trite sounding I know but true!)

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    Brianna Heldt says:

    lindsey i think everything will be just fine. :) the “experts” have said this about adoption but i think it’s true about a great many things: your satisfaction level with something or your happiness about it is directly tied to your expectations (so in adoption, it’s important not to have these huge expectations about things being perfect.)

    you’ll love your son to pieces. DON’T beat yourself up for not “feeling” a certain way towards the baby or pregnancy right now. when i was expecting kaitlyn i hardly thought about being pregnant–who had the time?! i worried about it and felt bad about it until i realized i was putting some expectations on myself that i didn’t have to. of course i still have to fight the urge to put silly expectations on myself. i think we moms just naturally tend towards guilt.

    God will work out the details of how you’ll manage the three kids. that sounds trite but it’s true. i think it’s really normal to be worrying about this stuff!!! (at least i hope so because i did! and i still do. “how will i manage the kids by myself at this function, or while i’m sick” but the Lord ALWAYS works it out. i think God has totally used kevin’s being so far from home for so many hours a day to build my faith in Him when it comes to the kids.)

    yeah so all of that to say, sounds pretty normal to me, you’re a great mom and your kids are wonderful. we’ll be praying for you guys in the weeks to come!

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