any suggestions?

today has been one of those days! after resolving to change my attitude and heart towards my girls, to speak kindly and calmly, to really try to understand why they react to things the way they do, they have yet again broken me down! here’s the scenario:
lily grabs a toy gracie is playing with. i make gracie let go of the toy as the two of them struggle in a tug-of-war with the toy. i talk with lily, telling her its not ok to take her sister’s toy, and she needs to give it back. she does! going well so far, right? gracie goes across the room to play with something else (train tracks), and lily freaks out. gracie immediately shares half of the train tracks. yay! thats not good enough for lily. she continues to scream her ear-piercing scream, so loud that it seriously hurts my ears. i try to hold her and calm her down, but she starts pinching my face. by now its a little after noon. they just had lunch, so she’s not hungry, but it is getting close to naptime. i decide that since lily won’t calm down, now is a good time for naps. she won’t lay down. she keeps saying “out!”, wanting to go out of the room. i leave her in her room for a short bit, hoping she’ll calm herself down and be ready for me to read her a book before naps. i get gracie and tell her its naptime. 2 sidenotes: 1 – gracie rarely naps now, maybe 1-2 times a week at best, but she always rests. this was a busy weekend and i wanted her to catch up on her sleep, so i told her she was taking a nap today, which she responded fine to. 2 – the girls share a room, and lily tends to fall asleep better if gracie is laying down, too. after an hour of struggling with lily, she finally falls asleep. thankfully silas was sleeping in another room. i walk out to my room to take a much needed nap after reminding gracie to stay in bed. i fall asleep for maybe 5 minutes and i hear the girls, who should be sleeping, fighting! i go into their room and sit by lily for a couple minutes until she falls asleep. then i tell gracie she can come nap with me if she wants. so i think i’m doing well, being sensitive to my kids needs and trying to give them more physical contact and comfort. gracie says no, she wants to play. i said thats not a choice and all hell breaks loose! she freaks out, is screaming, running away from me, and eventually gets disciplined. i walk out of their room frustrated, both girls awake, now silas is too, and i’m fuming! what should i have done differently, and what would you have done?
i’m really trying to understand my kids right now, trying not to always use discipline as the answer to these problems (because that seems to have become the easy way out for me, lately), but this is hard!
gotta go, both girls are coming at me!
-lindsey

Comments

  1. 1

    Oh, lindsey! did you have one of those days, too? i don’t have any advice, especially since i had one of those mornings as well. and didn’t i just post what a blessing children are?

    words of encouragement as one mom to another? it won’t last forever, which is comforting, but doesn’t give any pracitical advice. the sharing thing sucks! sometimes i am tempted to get the boys totally separate toys so that i don’t have to moderate all the time. let’s brainstorm tomorrow because i need help, too. hang in there!

  2. 2
    Sarah Markley says:

    Wow, you have a lot going on! Its hard, I can understand, when they are both screaming. And you have a baby (who no doubt gets woken up by them) also! Sometimes, I just try to completely seperate mine (upstairs/downstairs), or give my older one something quiet to do and put my toddler in front of a video until things blow over. I think its day by day, truly.

  3. 3
    WestCoastPritchetts says:

    Lindsey,
    Hang in there…this too shall pass. The girls are just growing and trying to figure things out. They are never mad at you or eachother, they are just using their energy to discover how to be the sweet little ones that they are.

    Kelly & Regan share a room as well. Although they are no longer napping (ugh!), when they were, I found that putting one of them up first to fall asleep was key. Once one fell asleep the other would go in the room knowing that there was not much else to do besides sleep. Try that out.

    You are a super mom…don’t ever forget that.
    Much Love, Tara.

  4. 4
    Lisa Leonard says:

    hey linds, some days just stink. i know i go from patient to reeeallly frustrated in a matter of moments–especially when i am tired. hang in there. you are such a good mommy. the girls are in transition right now and so are you. it WILL get better. for now, do what works. videos, gummy snacks or calling someone to help can make a big difference without any damage. xoxo

  5. 5
    Missy Grant says:

    Wow, what a day you had, girl. I would like to encourage you that it gets better…..it does….and it doesn’t. I spent 15 hours in the car with my 4 and a husband driving back from Colorado yesterday.

    From what you wrote – I wouldn’t recommend changing anything. You did all the things that a good, loving parent would do and you will have many days like this.

    The girls are stretching the boundaries and trying to figure out this new time commitment mommy has to a baby. It is all about training up the heart and sometimes it is just really, really frustrating. Try and figure out what is most frustrating you and see if you can work through that with the girls. (ie) Is it Lilly’s screaming (I have one of those….my youngest…it takes a lot of work).

    You are a wonderful mom and wife. Life with kids ebbs and flows try your best to flow with it and just give it all to the Lord. Hang in there….praying for you.

  6. 6

    OH sweet Lindsey, I know it’s no comfort to you, but we have all had those days! My kids are 14, 12, and 10 and we still have them! Sometimes the grumpies, the rebellion, and the stubbornness just set in and make for really bad days. Try to take rest in the fact that those days are few, and in the end, the good days will definitely outweigh the bad! All of the other girls are right-this is such a growing period for your family-it takes some adjusting to. I have witnessed your excellent mom skills-I think you are handling these things just right-you talk to your kids with respect and love and you go out of your way to make sure they understand the discipline-what else can you do? I think you’re doing a wonderful job and I’m praying for you guys. Hang in there! :)

  7. 7
    Kristen Borland says:

    oh, goodness. i think you did fine and the best you could. i feel like i’m sooo in the same boat as you!! it’s just plain difficult. i’m hoping to get in on a parenting class sometime soon (to get more suggestions but also to just know i’m not alone!).

    it’s just a phase. it’s just a phase. it’s just a phase. (that’s what i keep telling myself!)

Speak Your Mind

*