get ready for random thoughts


so i’ve been so inconsistent lately with this blogging thing. sorry. but good news! i’ve replaced it with something better: the joy of mothering! wow – these kids have been overwhelming lately. overwhelmingly wonderful, hilarious (i ask lily to do something and she says, “yeah”, then stops, laughs at herself, and says, giggling, “me say yeah, haha!”), helpful, exhausting, adorable, and doing some nonstop learning and teaching. we’ve had a great time around here. i’ve been learning a lot about my kids and also about myself and my way of mothering. surrendering to motherhood, i guess. although surrendering suggests something bad, and this is something wonderful. more on that in a minute, here are some pictures (the pic above is lily nursing her baby – apparently mothering has been on her mind, too!):

yes, its january, and yes my girls are outside in their bikinis! the nights and mornings have been soooo cold, but the days have been really nice. they were going nuts with the chalk coloring everything in the back yard, making chalk paste with water and coating/staining their bodies. these are things that i so often want to say no to, but why?

silas was dedicated at church yesterday. it was such a sweet time, really. it felt like tim took extra time with us because we were the only one’s getting dedicated in first service. we have had such a history with tim that he reminded us of: marrying us and dedicating our 3 kids, seeing us grow in life, parenting, marriage, and work. a treasured time.

so here’s whats really got me thinking. this is a picture of silas sitting up. yes, sitting up! (the hearts you see around him are a valentine’s project we did) he just decided to do it! we hardly EVER put him on the floor, for no reason other than its hard wood and i feel like i have to put so many blankets down before it would be comfy to lay on. he won’t sit up on his own all the time, but a decent amount. he’ll sit on my belly and bounce and totally keep his balance. is this what having a boy is like?! but wait, thats not all: he’s rolling over all the time, and now he’s pulling up to his knees! i know! i can’t believe it either! all in one day! but here’s the kicker….. he got his first tooth! he’s 5 1/2 months old. not unheard of early, but still! so this is what leads me to my ramblings:

silas is not a good sleeper. i have so many people say to me, “what!? he’s not sleeping through the night?” oh, heavens, no! does waking up to eat every hour and a half sound like it? nope. but you know what? i feel like God has given me a few extra measures of patience with this boy, or maybe its just the way he looks at me, but i have yet to get totally frustrated that i’m up so much with him. and here’s why: we don’t let our kids cry when they’re babies. we don’t let them cry it out in the nursery at church, cry it out in their crib, or just cry anywhere (except the car, when we simply cannot pull off the road for a nursing). we’ll let them fuss a little, but that’s their ONLY WAY OF COMMUNICATING! why would i not respond to their cries? my job as mama is to meet their needs, both physical and emotional. this has been totally reaffirmed when silas has been getting up so much, then he got this tooth, then all the nights since he’s only woken up ONCE each night. coincidence? i think not! granted he is still going to bed much later than what would be my preference, but he is still sleeping better. if i was of the “cry it out” line of thought, how would i ever account for things like teething and growth spurts? i didn’t know silas was teething. only the morning before he broke his tooth through did both sean and i say we thought we saw something there. yes, he’s been drooling and chewing on things, but babies do that for months, often unrelated to teething. am i making sense here? what i mean to say is i feel totally wonderful about all my efforts into mothering my littles when it comes to nursing a ton, not only for physical nourishment but also for emotional comfort. if i were to limit my son with nursing, reserving only for filling his tummy at certain times throughout the day, how would i know when he was going through a growth spurt and NEEDED to eat more? i can’t imagine the thought of him crying because he was hungry because he was growing, and me not feeding him because “it wasn’t time to eat”. mothering is hard. really hard. but its something so many of us have been called to do. and i am so thankful that God has provided enough work for sean so i get to stay home with my littles. what a blessing it is! and what a challenge it is to see it that way every day (especially with a 2 year old)!

happy monday, friends!

-lindsey

Comments

  1. 1
    pennymalley says:

    Lindsey,
    It’s so reaffirming to hear you say all this. Ted and I don’t let our babies cry it out, either, for all the same reasons. Maybe it’s my age or that Abby’s the last, but I just keep in mind that this is a season, and someday (soon, I hope!) I will sleep again. But for now, I ‘m there when my baby girl needs me, and I’m blessed for it. “Surrendering to motherhood”… sounds good to me!

  2. 2
    Brianna Heldt says:

    lindsey i like your random thoughts.:) we’ve never been much for “crying it out” either when it comes to our babies. and then of course with adopted children it’s important to make them feel secure and everything. being a mom is really tough, but how wonderfully rewarding, too!!!!! thanks for these great reminders!

  3. 3

    i, too love the surrendering to motherhood–because that’s what we’re called to do. it does take a surrendering, a surrendering of what we may want to do to attend to our children’s needs first. thanks for sharing your thoughts. i’m also a firm believer that you must believe in how you’re going to handle the late nights–if you’re going to let your kids cry it out, you really have to be on board with that all the way and if you don’t want to let them cry, then be on board with that. they all grow up eventually! hope that made sense.

  4. 4
    Brenda Williams says:

    I agree with you, and it is nice to hear your parenting philosophy. We don’t let our babies cry it out either. Frankly, I’d feel like I was being selfish on my part to not go to them when they are crying. They need me, they are only babies for such a short time, and I have found the God ALWAYS gives me the strength I need for each day, no matter how rough the night.
    I didn’t know Silas was up so much at night; sorry, that is so hard! We’re still up multiple times with our 11 month old, and often with Shannon, but they are so wonderful that we don’t really mind.
    We have the best job in the world!!

  5. 5
    Jeannett Gibson says:

    I sometimes let Henry cry but never for more than a few minutes. On my part though, he’s a great sleeper, and we’ve never ever had a night where he was inconsolable or woke up constantly. He might wake up to eat, but beyond that, I haven’t really had to make a decision to cry it out or not. I have found though that sometimes after a few nights of waking up often (because he was getting sick or something), he keeps waking up…but out of habit, you know? And I learned that if I let him cry for all of 30 seconds, he would fall back asleep. Kinda like when you still wake up at 6:30 a.m. on Saturdays? Anyway, I agree…even on his “toughest” nights, I’m always amazed at the unending patience I seem to have…that I never thought I would!

    And a tooth already! That kid is a crack up!

  6. 6

    First, love the valentines craft – we will need to be doing that project. too cute!

    Second, my kids LOVE mixing chalk with water. pretty much guaranteed if they want to play with chalk there is a bucket of water with it. Either to get the cement wet and then write or usually to dump the chalk in so they can write with wet chalk. bathing suits in Jan – jealous of the nice weather.

    Third, silas is turning into such a big boy! teeth, rolling, sitting up – wow! how fun!

    Last, mothering is a very tough job. each family has different rules, different expectations, different ways of handling situations – it doesn’t get easier. every person needs to do what is right for their family and right for that child and feel confident and comfortable with that decision no matter what others say and think – i know it is easier said than done. you are a great mom, God has blessed you with a beautiful family -enjoy!

  7. 7
    Lisa Leonard says:

    looks like lots of fun in the cheney household! silas, you go!! wow. what a big day!

    on the crying it out issue…david was only 18 months old when matty was born (and he was still like a tiny baby in many ways) and it was like having twins. I remember feeling like I just could not meet all of their needs all of the time. I said very often, “I am just one mommy and I have two boys, so you have to be patient.’

    The more I live and parent the more I see that there are many right ways to be a mommy and you are doing a wonderful job! i love you and your kiddos.

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