yep. she turned five. i’m amazed how much it has affected me. no real tears , though. i held it together. she was working me though! we have been doing a paper chain countdown (links on the chain = number of days left until her b-day) for about 76 days. yes, 76 – it was a long chain! she kept asking me every day for a couple months when her birthday was, so the chain was a more tangible way for her to grasp when her day was (and to get her to stop asking!). so over the last week she would take one chain link off each day, and tell me how many days left. the night before her birthday she could barely contain all her excitement, she asked at 6:30 if she could go to bed because she knew as soon as she woke up she would be 5. so funny!
her special day was great: the night before sean and i decorated the house with streamers and filled her room with balloons, and left a trail of gifts to our room. so early in the morning she woke up, saying how much she loved the “twirlies” (streamers), came into our bed and held up her last 2 chain links right in front of me, tore off the last one and announced that she was 5, and then opened her gifts. we got sucked into the webkins thing and she got her first one – definitely her favorite gift. she had her breakfast made to order: “pancakes with strawberries and lots of syrup”. we later went to the little zoo just north of us. the kids all loved it, so much that we bought an annual family pass. as we were walking in i remembered that we had taken gracie to that same zoo on her first birthday. that seemed so long ago, and we were such a little family back then! she requested mcdonalds for lunch, then we headed home for naps. the night before we asked her what she wanted for her birthday dinner. she told me she wanted to go to “the place where they speak spanish, cook food in front of you, and celebrate your birthday, and sing to you, and make volcanoes”! so we headed to a japanese restaurant for teppan (sp?). she had her best friend (and her family) there to celebrate with her.
when we were laying with the girls and praying for them at bedtime, gracie prayed: ” God, make me 5 then 6 {at this point i’m mouthing to sean”what!?! bigger?!”}, so i can grow up to be a mommy”! how cute is that?! i keep freaking out when she says she wants to grow up, but she always says she wants to grow up to have babies, “if God lets me”. a girl after my own heart.
i have told her for so long that i didn’t want her to turn 5 because i have really liked 4. its been a lot of fun! five comes with so much more responsibility and growing up and changes. she’s not a toddler anymore. its not as cute for her to say things incorrectly (ex: “babing suit” = bathing suit). now she has to be corrected. she is really getting so big. thankfully, though, she is a very tiny little girl, and she still looks like she’s about 3, sizewise.
i am very thankful for her. she has changed my life in ways i could never have imagined. no one could ever explain in a way that is fully comprehensive what having a child does to you . i have lost my “self” in this, but i have gained something new, a new self. a different self. someone i never expected. i still have a lot of changing to do, a lot more “losing of self” to do. this is an amazing process. thankfully, a very well thought out, pre-designed, ordained process. and i cannot do this alone!
happy birthday, grace olivia!

-lindsey