we’re on our way out of the baby stage.
and its kinda breaking my heart!
we have pretty solidly decided that we are done having babies,
but this last week has really rocked my world and made me question our decision.
i still feel like it is the right decision for us (it has taken me a very long time to get here),
but we’ve had some milestones met that have kind of rubbed it in my face
that my babies aren’t really babies anymore.
they are growing up.
here’s what i mean:
even though i still have 3 kids in carseats (yes, even my 7 year old – she’s tiny), they can all buckle themselves.
they don’t need me to do it for them.
i had tears in my eyes at gymnastics class with the kids this week.
mommy ‘n’ me classes are over for silas and i.
he’s big enough to do it on his own.
i’ve had 7 years of mommy ‘n’ me classes and now i’ve been demoted.
silas took off his training wheels and is riding his bike on his own.
with crazy confidence.
he asked me, “mama, are you so proud of me?!”
all 3 kids are taking swim lessons.
both girls swam on their own for the first time today.
but i’m not in the water with them.
as much as i love not shivering along with them,
i feel lonely on the bench.
on the bench.
its like i’ve been benched and now just watch them grow up.
i’m not changing diapers anymore.
my wallet is happy, as is my sense of smell, but it marks yet another milestone.
a milestone that we will pass, and leave behind us.
never to be seen again.
i’ll be honest, some of these things are awesome.
but mostly, right now, it sucks.