gracie and i snuck away for a bit yesterday to go on a fancy date: costco.
sean was working from home, so the younger 2 were happy to stay with since i promised them a movie while i was gone, to deter any jealousy about the mommy date (they all love costco! lily asked if i could bring them home samples!).
i say my goodbyes and head out the door with gracie to our detached garage in our backyard to hop in the car. we get in, i encourage her to sit in her sister’s car seat so she’s not so far away from me (we moved her all the way to the back, and amazingly there is less fighting now. imagine that.). we gigle about how big she is for that seat. she’s not really, but i let her think so. she’s a bean, just a tiny little thing barely over 40 lbs, and she’s almost 8. definitely taking after my in-laws.
i put on my seat belt as we’re talking and put the car in reverse, take my foot off the e-brake. then stop. i see a red light on my dashboard telling me there’s a door open. so i open and close mine. nope. i put the car back in park and put on the brake, and hop out of the car to find the open door. as i am getting out of the car i see a screaming silas running behind my car. he decided he was sad i was leaving and wanted to say goodbye again. sean didn’t hear the back door open when silas ran out, so he had no idea what had happened. i immediately scoop up the boy in my arms and rush him inside, chastising him for running behind the car (we have a “line” where they aren’t allowed to cross when a car is in the driveway). i leave him inside after a few goodbye’s and instruct lily to lock the deadbolt behind me so he can’t escape again, after yelling a word or 2 of frustration to sean. totally not his fault, even if he was in the same room as silas he wouldn’t have been able to catch him before he got out the back door.
as i drive away the story begins to unfold differently in my head: i’m chatting away with gracie, put the car in reverse and……..
i just can’t go there. GOD DIDN’T LET IT GO THERE. He stopped it before it was even a true close call. i need to live in the “what is” rather than the “what if”. all i can do is rest in God’s goodness and His continued protection over our little family.
God is good.
and this boy. oh, this boy…